Prose 2 min read

Filter words aren't all bad

C.J. Bennett

After several breathless moments, Proyas felt Gotian's consoling hand fall upon his shoulders.
R. Scott Bakker The Darkness That Comes Before
When he turned to glance at her, she saw a swollen knot above his left eye.
Robin Hobb Ship of Magic

What is filtering language?
Words that create narrative distance by reminding the reader that a story is being told by a point-of-view character rather than experienced directly.

Why do people advise against it?
Some folks say the distance it creates makes for a bad reading experience. I have also heard it described as unneccesary filler that can bloat prose.

OK, but how do the pro's use it?
I was advised early on to minimise (or even remove entirely) all filtering language. I thought this was odd, as I encountered it regularly in the works of the best authors in fantasy. They use filtering language whenever they need to, as a way of highlighting things in the character's point of view. It's used for amplification.

What's going on?
The narrative distance effect only applies when the prose around it is weak, which is why I think the advice is often thrown at novice writers. Most writers will start with their character and do something like: "He saw the giant ship approaching."

The common advice would say: "The giant ship approached." is more effective. It's definitely cleaner and more direct.

But this misses out the context. What if we've just built to a moment the character has been dreading - the approach of a tyrannical emperor on the royal battleship, for example? Then there's so much unspoken anxiety (emotion) already built up that you can choose to turn the tension screw even further (always a good option, narratively) and write: "He saw the giant ship approaching." Now the very act of the character's seeing is dripping with stark dread and the highlighting of it is what helps turn the tension screw.

So you're not filtering by narrative distance. You need to think of it instead of filtering by context.

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